After a week off, because I was trapped in another dimension (dealing with the flu), the 2013 Tournament of Heroes returns, and we conclude our round 1 match-ups. Here we go…
The Flash—Barry Allen (#5 seed) versus Flash Gordon (#12 seed)
My thoughts: “Flash Gordon may have saved every one of us, but against the overwhelming power of the speed force he fails to save himself.” Bob’s vote: The Flash
Jeff voted for Flash Gordon because he has a Queen song, and the Flash, does not. However, JC voted for Barry.
Winner: The Flash, by a 2-1 vote
Invisible Woman (#6 seed) versus Kato from the Green Hornet (#11 seed)
My thoughts: “It’s difficult to get the jump on someone who can turn invisible and create powerful force fields.” Bob’s vote: Invisible Woman
Jeff voted for Kato, because he’s a master of the martial arts and doesn’t need to see you to beat you up. JC agreed that Kato could overcome Sue’s invisibility, but not her force filed powers.
Winner: Invisible Woman, by a 2-1 vote
Aquaman (#7 seed) versus Angel the vampire (#10 seed)
My thoughts: “I could easily see Arthur taking this one, but Angel has two centuries of fighting experience, against all kinds of powerful opponents. If the soulful vampire can just get in close enough to bite him…” Bob’s vote: Angel
Jeff and JC both felt that Arthur was just to well armored and strong for Angel to overcome.
Winner: Aquaman, by a 2-1 vote
The Thing (#8 seed) versus Spawn (#9 seed)
My thoughts: “Hey Spawn! The 90’s are over. It’s now CLOBBERIN’ TIME!” Bob’s vote: The Thing
Jeff reluctantly voted for Spawn, because he felt the Thing was created during a much softer time in comic history and could not, therefore overcome a hardcore character like Spawn. JC countered that the Thing was possible created by Kirby as a representation of the Jewish golem.
Winner: The Thing, by a 2-1 vote
Valkyrie (#5 seed) versus Faith Lehane (#12 seed)
My thoughts: “These two are nearly even on strength and fighting skill, but the experience edge goes to Valkyrie. Looks like Faith may get a trip to Valhalla after this one.” Bob’s vote: Valkyrie
Not much argument on this one.
Winner: Valkyrie, by a 3-0 vote
Blue Beetle—Jamie Reyes (#6 seed) versus Wolf Man (#11 seed)
My thoughts: “I wonder if the scarab armor can alter itself to become silver…” Bob’s vote: Blue Beetle
Another unanimous vote. Even though JC revealed his love for werewolf lore.
Winner: Blue Beetle, by a 3-0 vote
The Vision (#7 seed) versus Voltron (#10 seed)
My thoughts: “At first glance it may appear I ranked these two wrong, because a giant robot defender of the universe should easily defeat a man sized synthoid, right? Wrong. The Vision is able to alter his own density and could therefore phase through Voltron’s armor where he could take out the pilots inside one by one.” Bob’s vote: The Vision
We all agreed, and Jeff called Vision’s tactic “Kitty-Priding”.
Winner: The Vision, by a 3-0 vote
Zatanna (#8 see) versus Hellboy (#9 seed)
My thoughts: “Remember that scene in Hellboy 2 where Hellboy sings Barry Manilow? Doesn’t matter. “Kcab ot lleh, nomed!” Bob’s vote: Zatanna.
It seems that agreeing is now becoming our thing. Jeff added that Zatanna’s hotness would also help her to victory.
Winner: Zatanna, by a 3-0 vote
The original Firestorm (#5 seed) versus The Phantom (#12 seed)
My thoughts: “Look at the Phantom’s neat skull ring that gives him his powers. Look how it’s now melting, along with the rest of him.” Bob’s vote: Firestorm.
JC disagreed by the ring melting, but thought instead it would change into butterflies. Jeff, voted for the Phantom because he admirers actor Billy Zane’s sexual history. (Jeff Note – KELLY BROOK, Man! KELLY! BROOK!)
Winner: Firestorm, by a 2-1 vote
Captain America (#6 seed) versus Buffy Summers (#11 seed)
“I can’t decide… flip a coin for me.”
Jeff and JC both voted for Captain America and I declined to vote. I just couldn’t chose between my bet pal Buffy and my emo idol Steve.
Winner: Captain America, by a 2-0 vote.
The current Ray (#7 seed) versus Mega Man (#10 seed)
My thoughts: “The Ray is powerful, but I bet that Mega Man will have some good counter measures equipped into his battle suit.” Bob’s vote: Mega Man
According to Jeff, all Mega Man would need is a mirror or a disco ball to beat the Ray. JC lamented having to vote for Mega Man due to the Ray’s inexperience.
Winner: Mega Man, by a 3-0 vote
Luke Cage (#8 seed) versus He-Man (#9 seed)
My thoughts: “Remember that this isn’t the He-Man from the early 80’s cartoon show or the terrible film version. This is the one from the current line of comics where he’s pretty bad ass. That said, Luke Cage is strong enough and durable enough to make this a real close fight.” Bob’s vote: He-Man
Jeff felt a magic sword gave He-Man the advantage, while JC thought Luke’s skin was too indestructible, and Prince Adam impressions ran wild the rest of the show.
Winner: He-Man, by a 2-1 vote
Wolverine (#5 seed) versus Snake Eyes (#12 seed)
My thoughts: “Logan: “Another ninja? Great. Snikt!” Bob’s vote: Wolverine
Really wish I had made Ax Cop the 12 seed here. This fight was too boring.
Winner: Wolverine, by a 2-1 vote
Swamp Thing (#6 seed) versus Spike (#11 seed)
My thoughts: “Spike is resilient and could possible defeat Swamp Thing, but I’m betting he’ll get a tree branch to the heart instead. Sorry, William.” Bob’s vote: Swamp Thing. We all agreed on this one and JC and Jeff told me about a time when Swamp Thing helped everyone get stoned at John Constantine’s 40th birthday party.
Winner: Swamp Thing, by a 3-0 vote
Human Torch—Johnny Storm (#7 seed) versus Ghost (#10 seed)
My thoughts: “How do you torch someone who isn’t always solid and keeps disappearing?” Bob’s vote: Ghost
Jeff concluded that anyone who sings a Rebecca Black song could easily be beaten up by any woman.
Winner: Ghost, by a 3-0 vote
Cyborg (#8 seed) versus Optimus Prime (#9 seed)
My thoughts: “As much as the 80’s kid I still am wants to vote for Optimus, I think Victor would be able to hack into the auto-bot’s matrix and mess him up.” Bob’s vote: Cyborg. JC agreed with me, but Jeff didn’t. He felt Prime’s soul would protect him from Victor’s hacking powers.
Winner: Cyborg, by a 2-1 vote
That’s it for this week’s match-ups. Round one is over. We’ll tackle round two next week. Feel free to share your own opinions on the fights so far, if you want to. Until my next blog, be sure to listen to Hold 322, follow me on twitter @Robert_A_Easton, and read comics, read comics, read comics.
My English credit in University was a class completely devoted to comic books. We reviewed the history of the Fantastic Four and my professor suggested a very different origin for the Thing’s design. According to him, Kirby intended the Thing to have hide-like skin like a dinosaur. As new artists took up the book Ben Grimm evolved into that big lump of rock we all know and love.
Sorry for the Nerdgasm